You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
