I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
