Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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