PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Terrible idea I love it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
