I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
