Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize