Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
