just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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