I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
