I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
