At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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