More tranny stories later!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
