Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
