I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
