Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If that was your dad, he is hot
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
