I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
