what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
