She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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