I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
