Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
