what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
