Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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