So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize