it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
