she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize