I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
