In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
