More tranny stories later!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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