3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
