What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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