i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
