people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
