Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
