I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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