Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
