I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
