im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
