we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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