i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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