She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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