Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
