If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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