i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
