I hope mine doesn't look like that
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize