Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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