Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
