it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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