i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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