Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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