i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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