I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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