That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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