I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
