She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
