All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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