so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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