that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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