I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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