One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
