I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
