i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
