I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
