This is not my ceiling
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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