Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think your dad took our porno
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
