you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
