She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
