Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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