Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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