He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize